I hate writing my feelings for the world to see, partly because 98% of you don't give a damn, and I don't want people in my beez-ness, but its my blog so whatever. My thoughts, no holds barred, right?
Right.
So I'm sitting in my living room, waiting for the water to boil in the tea kettle so I can make my green tea, giving television another chance and watching this new show "Single Ladies" on VH1 (I heart Lisa Raye and Stacey Dash). Got a lot on my mind and I feel the need to vent, so bear with me...
I'm 19 years old, will be 20 in half a year, and I don't feel as if I've started living yet. I see tweets from my friends like this just about every day:
"(insert ATL club here) tonight, me and the girls look flyyy."
"Just drivin around, where everybody at lets do somethin"
"Out...living."
Okay the last one I lied but yall catch my drift. Its just I've lived in Ga for what, 3 years now and I still don't know what a night out in Atlanta is like. Its not that I'm antisocial, but I don't have a lot of people I'd consider "friends" so when everybody goes out its not like I have a group of friends down here I know I can call up...
*sigh* *takes a sip of tea*
I think I became a blogger partly because I don't really have a life, and a part of that had me thinking that, in time, I'd be able to post those pictures with me having a good time, going out with the girls, blah blah, yadda yadda. I guess it'll come in time but I wanna start living, doing what I wanna do in life and not having to think of what others may think about it (I overthink, one of my biggest problems).
I don't like sitting in the house, but man, I can't drive lol. Blame the New York transportation system that made me believe I'd never need to learn. And at 19 do you really want your parents dropping you off at the mall? Yeah, thought so.
And while I'm sitting here complaining about how I can't stand that I don't go out partying as much, thats not even my style (freshman year was enough, thank you). I just wanna chiiiiiiiil, shoot the breeze, hit up a few concerts, shop, explore the land outside of Conyers... I always tell my ATLien (is that word relevant?) friends that Ga is not for me, but really...I don't know too much about this state at all. I just know Conyers and Athens (and I've never been downtown at night outside of work, so I don't really know Athens either). (quick edit: never been to a UGA football game either)
I read my horoscope the other day when I was in the hair salon and it told me that the second half of this year would be prosperous for me, and considering the fact that the first half was sorry, it gave me hope. I don't believe in that stuff but I wanna believe in that one (it was the January issue after all).
I don't know what made me wanna divulge this, this is pretty deep for me to actually explain to people why I say I feel I don't have a life (maybe because I'm phoneless -again- too long of a story). I've gotten close to it before, but every time I just x out the post and look for something else I do. But uh, hopefully since I've admitted it to myself (and the world) how I want things to change, maybe I'll do something about it.
So I'm declaring May 30th, 2011, a new year for me (if the Chinese don't have to start January 1st neither do I). Time for me to do things and live a lottle (that was a joke guys).
Guess this is a different approach to finding forever...So until I feel another interesting thought pop up in this big head of mines...Peace Outttt *50 tyson voice* <3
No comments:
Post a Comment